Kintsugi Way – Nine.
Take the pressure off. Lean in to Life’s Seasons.
One of the questions I am most consistently asked is: Can women really have it all?
Firstly, I am not sure why this question should only apply to women. The fact it is solely addressed to women feels like a problem in itself. Surely any person of any gender who is prioritising between self care, family, career and other commitments such as friendship, community and hobbies grapples with this question? If they don’t then I would argue their partnership or mental load could potentially do with some recalibration!
So let’s rephrase: Can we have it all?
My answer is a resounding YES. Just not everything, altogether, all at once.
Instead could we adopt a model I like to call our Life’s Seasons.
Seasons are something we generally allow to simply come and go with ease. Sure, during a long winter we yearn for the heat of summer sun and every summer the reprieve of changing colours and falling leaves feels renewing - but we still manage to accept the Season we are in and realise that in time, these things will shift and we will once again experience a season we love, or a new aspect of it that we appreciate even more.
So could we consider looking at life this way? I see trying to jam in all the best career moves, online study, kids sport, community volunteering and being there for every school pick up as the equivalent to sitting by a blazing open fire sipping red wine when it is 30+ degrees outside and we should be eating rainbow Paddle Pops. We are often working against what is natural or healthy for us by doing too much at a time where we need to prioritise and not see what we de-prioritise as a loss, but instead that we are gaining being more present and in synergy with a stage of our life.
I am not saying it is not possible to have multiple passions and aspects of your life. In fact you SHOULD have this! It is about acknowledging how many hours there are in a day and not placing so many demands on your life that it is full of pressure, rushing, minimal downtime and maximum overwhelm.
Life’s Seasons have the ability to help in that they emphasise that if you step away or adjust your career to choose to prioritise family, just like the weather, this can and will change in the future. Similarly, if career is your focus now, what is the Season where you might prefer to lean in to parenthood more?
Some helpful questions to ask might include:
What Life’s Season am I in now?
How long do I ideally want to be in it?
What are the goals I want to achieve while in this Season?
What is my next Life’s Season and how might I stay connected to that while also enjoying my present choice?
How can I communicate this to my partner, friends or people in my support network?
How can I ensure if I am in a partnership that we both get to experience Life’s Seasons that serve us both at different times so we both have the best
There is no right or wrong answer, simply adapting to the flow of all of the things you want to welcome into your life and giving yourself the best ability possible to enjoy each aspect with maximum presence and minimal stress.
So enjoy and embrace the Life Season you are in, as one thing is for sure. It will change!
Janey
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